titled

The Economic Crisis Explained With Alcohol.

soupsoup:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

shimmerandshine:

sarazucker:

in preparation for new york fashion week (and ya’ll know that i’m preparing), which begins on friday, the top designers describe their collections in one word:

• “survivor” (diane von furstenberg)
• “carnivores” (alexander wang)
• “tough” (italo zucchelli, men’s creative director, calvin klein)
• “layered” (jack mccollough and lazaro hernandez, proenza schouler)
• “proustian” (anna sui)
• “nightlife” (chris benz)
• “interiors” (derek lam)
• “aberdeen” (kate and laura mulleavy, rodarte)
• “brighton” (justin thornton and thea bregazzi, preen)
• “quality” (michael kors)
• “rocknrolla” (phillip lim)
• “ménage à trois” (john whitledge, trovata)
• “wicked” (yigal azrouël)
• “fairytale” (georgina chapman, marchesa)
• “hieroglyphia” (christian siriano)
• “crystalarium” (lisa mayock and sophie buhai, vena cava)
• “pop military” (tory burch)
• “polished” (erin fetherston)
• “passiondesire ” (chado ralph rucci)
• “moonlight” (narciso rodriguez)
• “soft-sculpture” (behnaz sarafpour)
• “sleek” (nicole miller)
• “fancy” (thakoon panichgul)
• “divine” (monique lhuillier)
• “joyous” (tia cibani, ports 1961)
• “powerful” (max azria)
• “tactile” (doori chung, doo.ri)
• “(real) creative” (donna karan)
• “parallax” (francisco costa, women’s creative director, calvin klein)
• “geometric progressions” (carlos miele)
• “ethnic-psychedelic” (custodio and david dalmau, custo barcelona)
• “lustrous” (oscar de la renta)

nice. i really like NY fashion week. LA fashion week sucks. that is my own opinion, though. take it as a grain of sand. I was there for LA fashion week last year and it is just not as refined as NY fashion week.